Get Hyped! Tommy Tallarico is here to make some excuses

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but this time, he brought some friends. 

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Last time we saw this fine specimen of manhood was when he equated “haters” with a tragic murder-suicide of an erstwhile visitor of the game forum where Tommy spends so much time. Classy, Nick. 

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Don’t look so surprised, we all saw you do it. 

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I pray you will show some better judgment in the future. 

Oh, and get your cars and airplane parts out of the Intellivision headquarters garage, this is a serious business, not a place for privileged people to store their boy toys. Just kidding, of course it’s boytoy central. Have you seen Tommy’s Vegas-style thinking room full of gimmicks and gadgets?

This is a long 4 minutes. 

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I guess if these pictures are anything to go by, these guys haven’t been taking your investment money and living well. 

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let’s talk about your rash off camera, after the video, mmkay? It’s only 4 minutes, that’s like a microsecond for Tommy Talkaricco. 

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Phil, you’re free to go. OK youngster, you’re up next. Can you clip on a mic and give me your best “it’s not my fault” face?

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Perfect.

Now over to Hans, who literally just rolled out of bed

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We’ve come a long way from the yacht club fundraising brunch, but mein herr, could you at least attempt to make an effort, and put on a proper shirt? We’re trying to look like a real business here. We have enough arrested development with the chief ego officer up there. 

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Enough of him. Okay, who’s up next?

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You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. How many times have we heard Tommy say, “the real marketing hasn’t started yet?” Wake up, BOB, we’ve got footbaths to sell. 

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It’s the same date as before, just a year later! You’ll be glad you waited and paid in advance to play video Cornhole.

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Sweet, sweet Cornhole.

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Everybody say it with me now: “Wooooooooo. Corn Hole!”

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